What Runs Inside ?

Whenever i close my eyes
you come in darkness
making every moment alive
as fresh as it was
We had spent together
We had shared among
As the day passes,you pass by me
Some laughs in illusion
keeps me laughing with you
Your tease , your smile
at my batty behaviour
your help at boggled times
nothing could vacate the harbour
build a nest inside
But i want to scrub it all
Every moment i want to wash it off
Every moment i try hard
to far cry from effing memories
But can't , just i hate myself
because can't hate you
I run away from myself
how to get rid off it?
But thanks to my friend
who thought me the best lesson ever
no one can cheat me forever
he got rid off everything
but i still standing at same turn
sometimes waiting for him
sometimes hating him
nothing gonna change
nothing gonna come back in lap
still this airhead
s tucked to same momentum
Thinking at variant times
Was those words really fabricated
so morphed ???
Was those promises to a friend
really breached???
Was those company for long times
really erotic attraction???
he passed in life as an accident
i passed as the need of time
Does me really need of replication?
why his lesson never let me build
a bond of trust again to anyone?
may be he was the best example
not to trust anyone any more.